Saturday, March 16, 2013

Loops of Indecision

You might start to notice a theme here, because the looming 9th grade year is taking up my thoughts.

How can it be that one moment, I'm completely confident in my ability to homeschool high school, and the next moment I'm internally freaking out about some silly detail?  I freaked out about going from the grammar to the logic stage, and we've made it through that.  I know from past experience that once I've got our plan developed and our course charted, the freak outs will diminish.  I also know that I won't freak out going from junior high to high school next year with Ezekiel, or when the other three boys make the transition.  But right now?  I go from obsessing about what our next four years will look like to refusing to think about it because it is too much to process.

I'm not the first person to homeschool high school, and I'm not the first person to freak out about it, so it's not like I'm doing anything original here.

I tend to be overly ambitious, and I need to leave room in Luke's schedule for him to follow his passion (currently computer programming).  I want this year to be streamlined; I tend to add things because they are good "it-only-takes-10-minutes" things, but this is how to quickly burn students out.  Those minutes add up into hours.  I've done better this year, but I think I can do better next year.  I'm currently obsessed about whether or not to continue Greek next year.  I think doing Latin, Greek, and Spanish is too much, but I hate the thought of dropping Greek.  I might have the opportunity to get Luke into a Spanish class, though, so that might trump my desire.  But until then, I'm caught in a loop of indecision about the unknown.

Logical, right?

No comments: