Thursday, June 07, 2012

Count It All Joy

For the past few years, I've been plagued by extreme fatigue and joint pain.  I went to the doctor in 2010, thinking it was my thyroid.  Instead some lab markers that are often associated with liver issues came back high.  I was eventually diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis, and have been on medicines since 2011 that have made me functional again.  I still have pain and fatigue, but it's greatly improved.

The other night, Micah came up to me and said "I'm sorry you don't feel good.  I don't know why your liver is bad.  But God knows.  God knows why your liver is bad.  God gives us suffering to increase our faith."

It's funny how God can use the little people He gives you to teach you and bless you.  I've prayed for healing more times than I can count.  I've wondered why I have this disease.  I've struggled with various sinful emotions ("It's not fair!"--complete with the stamping of the rebellious feet in my soul).  But in the end I know God is good and He is faithful.  I still don't know why God has allowed me to have this chronic condition, but if having a funky liver helps my son(s) to see and trust God more clearly, well then, it's just a bit easier to count it all joy.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  James 1:2-4 ESV

1 comment:

Tara said...

thats a precious little guy you got there courtney ;)